grandma shit on top of the toilet
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
