afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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