There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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