Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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