Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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