dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Randomize
