If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
How naked do you want me to be?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
