I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
