So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I understand Curling. That high.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize