you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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