As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
