How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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