I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
