how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
