there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
