it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
