using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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