she was so not down for the gang bang
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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