Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
