how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
