What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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