If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
