Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
