So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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