Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
