We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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