So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
