$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
