You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
