mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
