Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
drinking out of a sandbucket again
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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