if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
