I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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