This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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