she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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