I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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