I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
