so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
