it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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