Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
