You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
