yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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