We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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