I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
