I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
if only i could text you this smell
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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