It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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