Betty ford says i'm here all night
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
