When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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