Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just cut my nipple shaving
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
