Non-Jews are for practice
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
