The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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