What did we do last night that was yellow?
honey bunches of taint.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize