Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
