Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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