plz talk dirty to me
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
