They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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