Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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