I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
