I am spending my child support on dildos
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
