I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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