you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
