Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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