I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
