Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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